Sunday, May 21, 2017

Grief || Second year & counting

My brother posted a photo yesterday that got me thinking, so I decided to blog about all these thoughts. 
Its been 1 year, 2 months, 28 days since Feburary 24th, 2016.
I can't believe it. 

If you haven't read my first post on grief, you can find it here.

I remember in that hospital room thinking that I wish I could fast forward to this time right now because I didn't think my heart could take anymore. Now I'm here in the midst of the second year & I'm still standing. I have my days where I feel like I can accomplish anything & then there are days the tears just won't stop falling. I have been focusing on my health & fitness but I can't even escape grief there. I actually think it makes it worse in a good way. 
I'm running.
Its quiet.
Listening to worship music that makes me think about my own life. 
My mind starts going. I think about all the changes that have happened in my life in this short year.
 I think about how I will never hear my Dad's voice again & then it feels like someone punched me in my stomach.

 I talk with God the whole time,  I ask him why? 
I feel his presence and listen to him whisper it will be okay. 
I trust him, I move out of the corner where no one can see me cry & get up to begin again. 
Isn't that kind of what life is like? 
You get knocked down 100 times & get back up 101. 
Not all days are like this but the majority are. 
I feel like God is giving me these moments to really process all of these changes.

When we moved to WA in March, I found out I was pregnant. Excited, overjoyed, & scared were all my emotions. A couple weeks later I ended up loosing the baby. As horrible as it is, it struck up emotions with losing my Dad. Something I will never forget with my first miscarriage, I was sitting up in my room crying because I just found out I was loosing my baby. My Dad called me. We both were crying, it was actually the first time I've ever heard my Dad cry & he said "As a father I wish I could take your pain away. It breaks my heart that you have to go through this."
 It broke my heart that I would not get that phone call this time around. 
It physically hurt.

At the time I was angry, I felt like I just kept loosing. 
Lost my Dad, lost my Grandpa & now loosing my baby. I kept thinking God, why? 
After all I've been through, why? 
I stumbled across a devotion that felt like God was sitting at the table with me, having a cup of coffee  & telling me to listen. God never said I will not have problems in this world but he has overcome my problems. Here are a few points from my devotional that day. 
"Do not seek your heaven on earth." 
"Begin each day anticipating problems but pray that I may equip you for whatever difficulties you will encounter." 
"Discuss everything with me.  Remember that I am on your side, and I have overcome the world."

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand & says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." -Isaiah 41:13

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:13

I was looking at life in all the wrong ways but I imagine through all these trials that my heavenly father says to us exactly what my Dad said to me, "As a father, I wish I could take your pain away. It breaks my heart that you have to go through this." It's not God's fault that troubles come into your life but he walks with you every step of the way, if you let him. It won't take the pain away, I will still have those hard days but at least I will have peace in knowing God will pick me back up when need be & guide me the rest of the way.

So as of right now, yes the second year is the hardest. It could also be all the changes I've experienced in a short time but the first year felt like I was just getting over the shock of it all. Now its the nitty gritty emotions that I can't just put aside but with God's help, he will get me through.

I'm slowly coming to grips that my heart & my life will never feel the same. I am not that same person I was before which in the bigger picture, I know it will be a good thing. I know they say eventually you will begin to be thankful for your journey through grief. I wish I could say 100% I'm there but I'm not. I will say that I have realized life is short. Each day I'm thinking there will never be a May 21st 2017 again, so if my son wants to stay up a little later & hang out because we are having a heart to heart, I won't ever pass those moments up & neither should you.
 I can't keep living day to day & not doing what God has called me to do.

What has God called you to do that made you step out in faith?

This blog is one of mine but I'm happy to be sharing my story in hopes that it touches someone else's life. 



Friday, May 5, 2017

At home teeth whitening with Smile Brilliant || Giveaway.

I firmly believe there is power behind someone's smile. 
 You can make someones day by a simple smile so why not do so & have white teeth while doing it? 
I always tried to have white teeth but never really did anything about it. I would use the typical whitening toothpaste everyday but the years of coffee stains weren't going away. For the longest time I've wanted to get my teeth professionally whitened but didn't want to pay a ridiculous amount to do so. 

When Smile Brilliant contacted me to do a collaboration with them, I didn't hesitate. I jumped on the opportunity to try out their product. Actually that week they contacted me I was in the market for a teeth whitening product that actually worked. My teeth are so sensitive that it makes it hard to find something that actually works but doesn't hurt my teeth. 

It wouldn't be a proper photo shoot with out this little guy & an upside sign that I didn't notice until I started editing the photos. Gotta love real life moments with little ones. Makes life just that more exciting. (:

Two concerns I hear a lot about whitening teeth is 
1. Sensitivity 
2. the ingredients in teeth whitening products. 
If either one of these are your concerns click the link here if you have sensitive teeth or click the link here if you want to know more about there Vegan & cruelty free gel ingredients.  I've also included a link of 7 things you need to know before buying a teeth whitening kit. Hopefully these links will answer any of your concerns or questions you may have. I know they answered all of my questions I had.

I have done the typical whitening strips before but after the third time I used them I got an intense pain which made me take them off immediately. So needless to say I was a little hesitate about whether or not I would have the same experience with this.  To my surprise it didn't hurt at all. I kept it on over an hour & still didn't have any pain. Smile Brilliant give you custom fitting teeth whitening trays which you can read about by clicking the link above. What I personally love about the custom fit whitening trays is that you can't even tell you are whitening your teeth. I've come home from the gym, brushed & flossed my teeth. Put the whitening trays on, hopped in the shower & completely got ready while whitening my teeth. It is so easy. If your a busy mom of little ones you know how important multitasking is. So the custom fitting whitening trays are amazing but I really think the best part of Smile Brilliant's teeth whitening kit is the fact that they know so many people have sensitive teeth & thats why they offer a desensitizing gel. It re-hydrates & seals your tooth's enamel. I'm not kidding this stuff is like gold for a person who struggles with sensitive teeth like myself. It works amazing. I had no issue with my teeth sensitivity when I used this.

I'm a little embarrassed to show you my before & after photos but I'll take one for the team because it blows my mind how much whiter my teeth got with just 4 applications. Which good news, 4 applications only took 1 whole syringe of whitening gel. A little bit goes a long way. I still have 2 more syringes of product to use. 



I love how much brighter my smile is. I never thought I had coffee stained teeth before but comparing these too images... yikes

|| Giveaway ||

Here is the exciting part Smile Brilliant & I have teamed up to offer all of my followers a special giveaway.  

Follow this link to enter the giveaway for a personalized coupon for $139. The same value of a T3 sensitive whitening kit on Smile Brilliants site. 
This giveaway ends on May 25th, 2017. So hurry and enter for your chance to win. 

Also Smile Brilliant has been so kind to offer all of my readers 5% off using code 

Good luck everyone!

Teeth Whitening

|| This post was sponsored by Smile Brilliant but all of my thoughts & opinions are my own. ||

Monday, May 1, 2017

Roozengaarde Tulip Farm | Mt. Vernon, WA

Happy Monday!
I hope everyone is having a great day!
We finally have a day at home without running a million errands. Sawyer is napping the first time this week & I must say I am accomplishing a lot. Our typical day during the week is dropping Liam off at school, then Sawyer & I head over to the YMCA. We spend a good chunk of time there & we have been loving that. He get's to do his preschool classes & I get to do my spin & Barre class. On the other days I don't do a class I run & life weights. It's a win-win situation plus swimming every Thursday has been on the agenda. The boys love it.
Anyways on to the reason why I am writing this blogpost...
 Any free weekend we have we love to go explore.  I can't sit still.  Two weekends ago was one of my favorites so far. We headed up to Port Townsend to take a ferry over to Whidbey Island. Stopped by deception pass. I mean..... How beautiful is this?

 Little tip if you plan on taking the ferry. Make sure you make a reservation, we didn't & had to wait a extra hour till the next one. Not a huge deal but when you have two little boys that don't want to sit still makes it a little more challenging. We then drove up to Roozengaarde Tulip farm & oh. my. goodness. it was absolutely beautiful. I felt like I was in the Netherlands or something. Going back to my dutch roots. The photos don't even do it justice to how pretty it was in person. It is definitely a must see.

| Top | Jeans | Boots |

Sorry photo overload over here. I hope you all enjoyed your weekend. I love sharing our adventures on here. I'm thinking I will be posting more travel posts as of right now because that is just where my life is taking me lately. Not gonna lie, I kinda love it.

Hope Monday wasn't too rough on you.


Corinne Guynes